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Day 4… not gone so well :/

13 Jul

Hi all

Welcome to my daily update.

Well, today has been a failure I’m afraid. I woke up with all good intentions. Didn’t crave my usual biscuit breakfast and was all set to go home for lunch as I have been for some ham sandwiches on wholemeal bread. So allll healthy and ready to tackle another day of eating well.

That was, until my colleague called me up and offered to take both myself and other colleague/friend for lunch. Here I was thinking ‘OK, I’ll just have grilled chicken at Nandos’, but Nandos was too busy and we only had an hour,  so instead we headed for Chimmychangas. I knew as soon as I was stepping into the restaurant I would be eating the most fattening and delicious foods, and I didn’t disappoint my brain… but I did upset my waistline.

I had the most delicious steak fajitas with chips and a few nacho’s. And I mean DELICIOUS. But sadly, I am now feeling annoyed with myself for agreeing to go for this lunch. I should have had the will power to say no. It’s just typical of me to agree. But, I love that place, and hell,  it was a free lunch… who would say no?!

The only thing I will say is, I’m not going to let this ruin me. Ok so I’ve messed up today, but does this mean I have to let it mess me up for good and give in already thinking ‘well I might as well carry on eating rubbish all day now’… NO! I’ve let that happen to me far too many times where I will have a bad day, it puts me off and then I just give up on myself and go back to my old ways of eating junk. Why do I do that to myself? Everyone is bound to have off days with anything they are trying to give up, a smoker will still have a sneaky fag every now and then when they are giving up and this is no different.

But I’m getting back on that wagon and riding it again. I won’t let one slip up ruin how determined I’ve been this week. In fact, it’s made me even more so as I feel I can fight this.

I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT! Not for anyone else but me. I want it for health and fitness reasons, and I want it for physical aesthetics too. I want to be able to go into a clothes shop and pick up whatever I like the look of, it fit and be happy again. Not go in, it fits over my head and then I need assistance as I can’t get it off. Yes this happened to me. I was so embarrassed.

I remember a couple of months ago also, a top that I bought when I was a comfortable size 10 -12, no longer fitted. I think since I’ve gained weight, my breasts have gotten slightly bigger as, when trying on this top recently, I pulled it down with all my might past my boobs – realised I could hardly breathe and thought to take it of. Only, I couldn’t. After about 5 mins of struggling and going red in the face from panic and actual pain (as it was stuck on my arms and cutting into them) I had to run downstairs with my gut hanging out and a top half way up my chest and get my mum to help take it off. It took several minutes and I actually wanted to cry!

I’ve gained more weight since then!!!

That’s why I can’t let one slip up destroy my need to get rid of this excess weight and actually be able to wear something by just slipping it on.

The test now though is the weekend. I know I am going out with my mum this Sunday for lunch. But I also know it is at a restaurant where I can quite happily eat grilled chicken and a baked potato so I don’t have to over do it.

So that’s my entry for today. Unfortunately an unsuccessful day, but a different mindset to that I used to have.

Until tomorrow…. Happy Friday the 13th 🙂

Athena xXx

First day of my ‘diet’

10 Jul

Hi All

So here is day 1 if my ‘diet’ or, just cutting crap out as I’d prefer to think of it.

Thing is, when I say ‘cut crap out’ I don’t mean it 100% :/ I know, I know… how am I ever going to lose weight if I don’t stop the over load of crisps and chocolate?

Well,  I like the old saying of ‘a little of what you fancy is fine’ and that ‘your body needs all types of fats etc for it to break it down’.. or, something along those lines (maybe I’m making it up to make myself feel good)

But the difference I’m making is cutting things out like a pack of biscuits for breakfast to myself! Snacking on cakes and sweets at work, and I will be cutting down on my portion size also.

Ok so, what have I eaten today… ? Well, I had a banana for breakfast, lunch consisted of a tuna sarnie (on WHOLEMEAL bread I might add) with lettuce and tonight, hmmm think it’s the bad process food my mum’s making – Garlic Chicken Kievs… YUMSTERS!

I’m joining the choir tonight! Remember in my last blog I stated how my dream was to be on the Westend Stage? Well, this isn’t exactly the Westend, but it’s still me singing. And hopefully next month (when I have some more money) I’ll start up my dance classes again to keep fit too.

Me going there tonight means I won’t be at home able to do my usual of eating chocolate and crisps so I’m happy re that.

See, since I was a kid, I have had a habbit thanks to my mum that, we eat dinner at 9pm and before that, around 6pm… we have ‘tea time’. This always consisted of a chocolate and crisps. Yup, it’s a shocker how I’m overweight I know. But the point is, this is the routine I’ve had almost all my life and it’s very hard to break, especially when my mums sitting down eating it in front of me when I’ve tried to resist and the gap between the times of having eaten lunch and the time my mum cooks. I dunno, I blame the parents myself! 😉

Yes I know I could cook for myself. But things are sometimes easier said than done. For one, we don’t have an oven! True story. It broke years ago and my mum has not been able to replace it so cooks certain things in the oven part of our microwave. But regardless of this fact, if I’ve come home after work, tired, the last thing I want to do it cook for myself when I know my mum is going to be cooking later on and eating in front of me. Also, she’s a damn good cook and I don’t even know where to begin! PLUS, money wise at the moment is tough, so I can’t afford to buy extra ‘healthy’ foods when, again, I know my mother will be cooking.

Yup, some may excuses, I say… FACT. But it’s fine. I’ve managed to lose weight this way loads of times before. The only reason it comes back is because I’ve let it. I’ve allowed myself to get back into eating snacks at work and extra junk.

So here I am, trying again for the millionth time. Day one so far= good. Lets see what day 2 brings…

Till then, this is me, signing out 😀