day 3.. alil bit of a crave day

Hi everyone and happy Thursday :).

 

So this morning, and whilst sitting at work… I wanted BISCUITS. Bourbons to be precise. I wanted that biscuit more than I wanted Michael Fassbender.. and trust me, that’s a LOT.

 

I almost nearly went to the shop to buy them! BUT, instead, I went to my Facebook support group and my friend Emily asked ‘is it really worth it,’ and I stopped, had a think, and said ‘NO, it really isn’t’! So I resisted 🙂 Ate a banana instead too which is a zillion times healthier.

 

Lunch time consisted of ham and cucumber sandwiches on wholemeal bread, and then my mum peeled and sliced me an apple 😀 it was like I was at school again.

 

No idea at all what’s for dinner!

 

Not gonna lie though, as per my previous blog, I still am having ‘tea time’ which is a chocolate and crisps. I know that sounds like I’m never gonna lose weight, but I love them and I think I’d cry without. It’s my little ‘thing’. Every evening, I go home, have a small choc and crisps and watch Hollyoaks… like a slob 😦 BUT again, I will reiterate the fact that this has always been how it is and I have managed in the past to lose weight by cutting down on the others.

 

Just a short blog today I’m afraid as gotta dash off but will do a bigger one tomorrow… and then next week is my ‘weigh day’ eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

 

Bye all 🙂 xxx

First day of my ‘diet’

Hi All

So here is day 1 if my ‘diet’ or, just cutting crap out as I’d prefer to think of it.

Thing is, when I say ‘cut crap out’ I don’t mean it 100% I know, I know… how am I ever going to lose weight if I don’t stop the over load of crisps and chocolate?

Well,  I like the old saying of ‘a little of what you fancy is fine’ and that ‘your body needs all types of fats etc for it to break it down’.. or, something along those lines (maybe I’m making it up to make myself feel good)

But the difference I’m making is cutting things out like a pack of biscuits for breakfast to myself! Snacking on cakes and sweets at work, and I will be cutting down on my portion size also.

Ok so, what have I eaten today… ? Well, I had a banana for breakfast, lunch consisted of a tuna sarnie (on WHOLEMEAL bread I might add) with lettuce and tonight, hmmm think it’s the bad process food my mum’s making – Garlic Chicken Kievs… YUMSTERS!

I’m joining the choir tonight! Remember in my last blog I stated how my dream was to be on the Westend Stage? Well, this isn’t exactly the Westend, but it’s still me singing. And hopefully next month (when I have some more money) I’ll start up my dance classes again to keep fit too.

Me going there tonight means I won’t be at home able to do my usual of eating chocolate and crisps so I’m happy re that.

See, since I was a kid, I have had a habbit thanks to my mum that, we eat dinner at 9pm and before that, around 6pm… we have ‘tea time’. This always consisted of a chocolate and crisps. Yup, it’s a shocker how I’m overweight I know. But the point is, this is the routine I’ve had almost all my life and it’s very hard to break, especially when my mums sitting down eating it in front of me when I’ve tried to resist and the gap between the times of having eaten lunch and the time my mum cooks. I dunno, I blame the parents myself! 😉

Yes I know I could cook for myself. But things are sometimes easier said than done. For one, we don’t have an oven! True story. It broke years ago and my mum has not been able to replace it so cooks certain things in the oven part of our microwave. But regardless of this fact, if I’ve come home after work, tired, the last thing I want to do it cook for myself when I know my mum is going to be cooking later on and eating in front of me. Also, she’s a damn good cook and I don’t even know where to begin! PLUS, money wise at the moment is tough, so I can’t afford to buy extra ‘healthy’ foods when, again, I know my mother will be cooking.

Yup, some may excuses, I say… FACT. But it’s fine. I’ve managed to lose weight this way loads of times before. The only reason it comes back is because I’ve let it. I’ve allowed myself to get back into eating snacks at work and extra junk.

So here I am, trying again for the millionth time. Day one so far= good. Lets see what day 2 brings…

Till then, this is me, signing out 😀

xXx

Hello world!

Me at my current weight 🙂

Hi all and welcome to my blog! 🙂

My boyfriend has been telling me to do this on and off for ages now and I just didn’t bother. But now, seeing how much enjoyment my sister is getting from doing it, along with a friend starting up a weight loss group, I decided to start doing this.

It will be an honest outlook on how the ‘dieter’ works. The highs and the lows. This is my personal and honest outlook in how I feel when on a diet and I’m sure, as many of you who have been, or are still on a diet, will understand the long route it takes to regain your confidence back.

So lets start from the top:

I have always struggled with my weight. Even when I didn’t really have a reason to worry.

The most prolific moment for me in knowing I had a weight issue was when I was around 9(!) when, for some reason that I can’t even begin to remember, the teachers were weighing us and shouting the weight of each student to fellow classmates (cruel really, when I look back on this) I remember being 7 stone and one of the boys shouted ‘7 stones?? That’s more than me!’ and laughed 😦 I felt humiliated.

Then later in my secondary school life, I had gained more weight and was not very confident at all. I was awful in P.E. hated it. hated wearing the little P.E uniform knowing my chunky legs would be on display, hated becoming breathless so easily after running for only 1 minute (seemed like an eternity) and hated always being picked last because people knew I wasn’t fit enough to keep up.

I never had a boyfriend in school and although I was never bullied, I felt low and shy. Everyone put my weight down to puppy fat and that it would go when I grew up… and by 16… they were right!

I started my performing arts college from the age of 16-18. These were the best years of my life for many reasons. I had a great circle of friends, had gone down to 8st 5lbs (smallest I’ve ever been) and gained confidence. It’s also when I had my first boyfriend 😉

As you can imagine, performing arts is a very active course where you are almost on your feet every day and do dance classes so it was easy to stay in shape. I would be there from early in the morning, to come show days, late at night so I didn’t really have a steady eating pattern. I would eat chips and chinese food most days there, but I guess as I was so active, I just didn’t gain the weight.

I then graduated… and that’s where it all went downhill.

I got an office job working as a receptionist at the age of 18. This, as you can imagine, consisted of nothing but sitting down ALL day snacking from boredom. A vast contrast from the 6 months prior.

Most of my working life has consisted of me sitting down all day dealing with computers.

I’m also a qualified beauty therapist having worked in a salon (over a year ago now) or 2 years and I was almost certain that I’d lose weight being in this enviornment. Ya’know, working on my feet all day, only having 30 mins for lunch… but it didn’t make one difference. Why?? Oh yea, that’s it, still ate like a hog!

Since then, I have struggled up and down with my weight and am now the heaviest I have ever been (12 stone) and also, find it the hardest I ever have to go on a diet. Why?? Who knows. Maybe it’s my age that I don’t seem to have the energy I once had to dance every day. Maybe its boredom in my life as, lets face it, I’m not exactly on the Westend stage as I had imagined my life would be. All I know is, it’s hard.

Some people reading this who may be bigger than me may think ’12 stone is nothing compared to me so she can’t talk’ but you must remember, it’s not about how much someone may weigh, its a psychological feeling that everyone goes through when dealing with a weight issue, be it too big OR too small.

So this is where I’m at. 29 years old, 12 stone exactly and trying to lose weight for no one other than ME.

If I slip up, and lets face it, I probably will (I’m human) I don’t need the usual ‘oh I knew you would, diets just don’t work for you’ that doesn’t help. Instead a simple ‘don’t worry, you can try again’ will do.

Follow me on my quest to go back to my ideal and healthy weight of 9st. I will be posting pics here and there as this is where it all starts!

I’d also love to hear from anyone else going through anything similar and if you have any questions regarding tips etc (as i have done quite a few diets in my time which have worked) let me know and I’d be happy to talk 🙂

For now, this is me… signing OUT! xXx